Self-Doubt
Saboteur of Happiness
We all know the feeling. Everything is going smoothly, when out of a clear blue sky, nagging thoughts arise which leave us no peace: am I going in the right direction? Am I good enough? Am I reaching the goals I set for myself in life? Virtually everyone is preoccupied by self-doubt. It can impel us to evaluate expectations and possibilities realistically. At the same time, massive, persistent self-doubt can be crippling, causing illness and misery.
"I often have the feeling I'm not really lovable. That no man will ever want to stick around for long." Anneke Breytenbach is 28 years old and six weeks single now. With her last boyfriend it did not work out, though they were engaged. When they broke up he told her he did not like her character. In the relationship he constantly criticised her and wanted her to be more of a homebody. After the breakup Anneke was crushed. She now questions the way she acts in relationships and her personality. Through she is full of self-doubts she still is looking for the one.
Dieter Küster, 52 years old, worked for many years in the middle management of a pharmaceutical firm. He defined himself exclusively in terms of success. "Doing well in school, and later in my job, was everything to me. I continually blamed myself for professional mistakes, making myself responsible alone, until I just couldn't take it any longer."
The film accompanies Anneke and Dieter for a period of six months. These two residents of Berlin speak openly and with genuineness about their self-doubt, allowing viewers access to their experiences as they despair, but also grow. By the end of the film, we realize that some degree of self-doubt propels us forward, while excess doses of it are "toxic," and we learn how best to get a grip on it.